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A Woman Named Ruby

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To R.D. (1950-2014):

Time to put on your hysterectomy pants, dear, your go-go boots and your fright wig, and blow some kisses.

Ruby Upjohn, Ruby Goldfarb, Ruby Hagwell, Ruby Pickles, Ruby Fudge, Ruby Bankhead, Ruby Sherwood, Ruby Tubbs, Ruby Costello, Ruby DeFazio, Ruby Peebles, Ruby Hackles, Ruby Ludlow, Ruby Fuddles, Ruby Jitters, Ruby Feeney, Ruby Butts, Ruby Wang, Ruby Smoot, Ruby Fish, Ruby Gambini, Ruby Weiner, Ruby Frogley, Ruby Bumpus, Ruby Zasa, Ruby Farquhar, Ruby Pompadour, Ruby Clutch, Ruby Toddler, Ruby Peabody, Ruby Jerkewitz, Ruby Buggs, Ruby Cornblatt, Ruby Blathers, Ruby Dalzell, Ruby Shockley, Ruby Wooley, Ruby Wimpy, Ruby Belanovi, Ruby Slapwell, Ruby Snitley, Ruby Flywheel, Ruby Frankfurter, Ruby Dunkfeather, Ruby Chin, Ruby Arbuckle, Ruby Clapsaddle, Ruby Bumble, Ruby Davenport, Ruby Dejesus, Ruby Dill, Ruby Diesel, Ruby Ghostly, Ruby Dibble, Ruby Gooch, Ruby Hardapple, Ruby Hoyden, Ruby Mangles, Ruby Polkratz, Ruby Mims, Ruby Nugent, Ruby Punsley, Ruby Poovey, Ruby Rickets, Ruby Teetlebaum, Ruby Dithers, Ruby Waddler, Ruby Snork, Ruby Tudball, Ruby Hunsdorfer, Ruby Oglethorpe, Ruby Pilbeam, Ruby Flan, Ruby Buckles, Ruby Glasscock, Ruby Woo, Ruby Gulwart, Ruby Mushnick, Ruby Zorina, Ruby Stickles, Ruby Turnblad, Ruby Fishpaw, Ruby Ziffle, Ruby van Peep, Ruby Wagstaff, Ruby Gribble, Ruby Dillweed, Ruby Moonlove, Ruby Snitzler, Ruby Hogwaters, Ruby Clohessy, Ruby Bobolinski, Ruby Ouspenskaya, Ruby Nermi, Ruby Nankler, Ruby Bitchelli, Ruby Lupino, Ruby Pasquesi, Ruby Shumway, Ruby Hogchow, Ruby Wigglesworth, Ruby Skeffington, Ruby Beragon, Ruby Hudson, Ruby Broadnax. Ruby Lafarge, Ruby Wellenmellon, Ruby Thorndike, Ruby Dubois, Ruby Sheeny, Ruby Tull, Ruby Gaylord Ruby Weems, Ruby Ogilvie, Ruby Moncrieff, Ruby Cumberbunch, Ruby Gombell, Ruby Ignatowski, Ruby Mayfair, Ruby Snitzler, Ruby Otis Skinner, Ruby Chomley, Ruby Toluboff, Ruby Tenuta, Ruby Heeny, Ruby Terhune, Ruby Laflamme, Ruby Montague, Ruby Miggles, Ruby Gummidge, Ruby Dalrymple, Ruby Nemecek, Ruby Gilhooley, Ruby Delmage, Ruby Mullendorfer, Ruby Odets, Ruby Chuffee, Ruby Philpotts, Ruby Mudge, Ruby Mertz, Ruby Yurka, Ruby Ricardo, Ruby Flynn of the Memphis Flynns, Ruby E. Tata, Ruby Rifka, Ruby Fafara, Ruby Frizzell, Ruby Rapf, Ruby Fonzarello, Ruby Beavers, Ruby Finkelstein, Ruby Nerdlinger, Ruby Scafie, Ruby Lipchitz, Ruby Dragonette, Ruby Franzoni, Ruby Frimmle, Ruby Morehead, Ruby Magarulian, Ruby Tweedy, Ruby Schwump, Ruby DeFafa, Ruby Belcher, Ruby Bigglesworth, Ruby Blodney, Ruby “Champagne” King, Ruby Biggerstaff, Ruby Wang, Ruby Wigmore, Ruby Lashutsky, Ruby Flipwig, Ruby DeGasse, Ruby DeBouva, Ruby Noddler, Ruby Grody, Ruby Jigglewater, Ruby Fuddington, Ruby Fromkiss, Ruby Creech, Ruby Firpo, Ruby Hathaway, Ruby Won Fat Ching, Ruby Zizz, Ruby Bartholomew, Ruby Foster Kane, Ruby Sisley, Ruby Nazimova, Ruby Rambova, Ruby Wiggenstein, Ruby Terwilliger, Ruby Fortescue, Ruby Chickwell, Ruby Noodleman, Ruby Scammington, Ruby Cundiff, Ruby Fontaine, Ruby Whipsnade, Ruby Ritz, Ruby Hickey, Ruby Clawmute, Ruby Traherne of the Sleepy Trahernes, Ruby Meisenbach, Ruby Wolfsheim, Ruby Seamungle, Ruby Piggott, Ruby Witherspoon, Ruby Vonzell, Ruby Burpo, Ruby Fagmont, Ruby Pitlik, Ruby LaSalle, Ruby Newton, Ruby Tikvah, Ruby Wellington, Ruby Fosdick, Ruby Romaine, Ruby Birnbaum, Ruby Buzzell, Ruby Huffingwell, Ruby Delgado, Ruby Bracegirdle, Ruby Shinliver, Ruby Minge, Ruby Fafara, Ruby Belvedere, Ruby Duggs, Ruby Fuddwell, Ruby Entwistle, Ruby Feckles, Ruby Bobo, Ruby Midgley, Ruby Bleeth, Ruby Longoria, Ruby Livingston, Ruby Gleeb, Ruby Butters, Ruby Cornelius, Ruby Hackenbush, Ruby Twelvetrees, Ruby Gunn, Ruby Novak, Ruby Barbarello, Ruby Beanstock, Ruby Winkle, Ruby DeBeers, Ruby Wozniak, Ruby Scaramucci, Ruby Tweedlebottom, Ruby Legg, Ruby Cathcart, Ruby Bump, Ruby Lupone, Ruby Tittle, Ruby Naylor, Ruby Jeeter, Ruby Blodgett, Ruby Gotrocks, Ruby Kravitz, Ruby Pfaff, Ruby Bleffins, Ruby D’Agastino, Ruby Finklebaum, Ruby Minnevitch, Ruby Schwumpf, Ruby Hemphill, Ruby D’Angelo, Ruby Gottlieb, Ruby Lanskany, Ruby Dalwicky, Ruby Lacreevy, Ruby Snigley, Ruby Meng, Ruby Wurm, Ruby Raspberry, Ruby Turkel, Ruby Schlendinska, Ruby Sousé, Ruby Ratoff, Ruby Brewster, Ruby B. Goode, Ruby Schultz, Ruby Squigman, Ruby Dodders, Ruby Leathers, Ruby Gabor, Ruby Fickett, Ruby Stammers, Ruby Beebe, Ruby Hogg, Ruby Falconetti, Ruby Dunphy, Ruby Hootkins, Ruby Hruba Ralston, Ruby Terle, Ruby Peacock, Ruby Thwaite, Ruby Pitts, Ruby McConkle, Ruby Pickleweed, Ruby Titicombe, Ruby Bushmiller, Ruby Frowzell, Ruby Shitusky, Ruby Buttinski, Ruby Negri, Ruby Indelicato, Ruby Cursewell, Ruby Crabhatchet, Ruby Feng, Ruby Hogpit, Ruby Reeb, Ruby Mondello, Ruby Banakowski, Ruby Bean, Ruby Fizzwater, Ruby DeBanzie, Ruby Glotnick, Ruby Travolta, Ruby Blomquist, Ruby Dawkins, Ruby Spanks, Ruby Fecklebaum, Ruby Ferrigno, Ruby Killbride, Ruby Ferch, Ruby Chudley, Ruby Fatone, Ruby Vigoda, Ruby Rubicam, Ruby Oh, Ruby Sharples, Ruby Mary Elephant, Ruby Teeters, Ruby Skidwell, Ruby Dilmont Jackson, Ruby LaPeevy, Ruby “Batshit” Maroney, Ruby DePussy, Ruby Suggs, Ruby Pitz, Ruby Slippers, Ruby Turlock, Ruby Buzz-Zard, Ruby Mutzendorfer, Ruby Sackville-West, Ruby Hagmore, Ruby Yarnell, Ruby Nerdwell, Ruby Horowitz, Ruby Stompanato, Ruby Gidrey, Ruby Pertwee, Ruby Liptrapp, Ruby Friganza, Ruby Dodders, Ruby Grint, Ruby del Rio, Ruby Gidrey, Ruby Snerdwell, Ruby Huznell, Ruby Von Rump, Ruby Cheesewater, Ruby Muldoon, Ruby Warshack, Ruby Barfwell, Ruby Weaselknocker, Ruby Lipshine, Ruby Mahoney, Ruby Pizzlebottom, Ruby DeGaw, Ruby Chickles, Ruby Sprinkles, Ruby Wooters, Ruby G. Krebs, Ruby Delvecchio, Ruby Bonaventura, Ruby Kaminska, Ruby Winklestone, Ruby Vetch, Ruby Hackenschmidt, Ruby Scales, Ruby Mooseburger, Ruby Grundell, Ruby Alma-Tadema, Ruby Campisi, Ruby von Tussle, Ruby Lipschitz, Ruby Nova-Mali, Ruby Gonzales the Fastest Bitch in all Meh-e-co. Three hundred and ninety were not enough.

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