“I’m a Transvestite”

In Ed Wood, one of my all-time favorite movies, Ed (Johnny Depp) calls Miss Vampira, the tacky TV hostess, on the phone and asks her for a date.

“I was wondering,” he says, “if you’d like to go out sometime, have some dinner?”

“I thought you were a fag,” Miss Vampira says.

“No!” he says. “I’m a transvestite!”