Columbarium ~ A Short Story by Allen Kopp ~

A man stepped out of the darkness into the dim light. He looked both ways before turning to the right. He walked until he came to the wall, and then he turned around and walked back. On his third circuit from wall to wall, he met another man, taller and younger. The second man surprised the first by speaking.

“Who do you suppose that is?” the second man asked, pointing to a recumbent figure on the floor.

“A bum,” the first man said. “We get a lot of them here.”

“Came inside to get out of the rain, I suppose.”

They both looked out the window then, aware for the first time that a thunderstorm was raging beyond the glass.

“I like a good storm,” the first man said, and walked on.

In a little while the two men were joined by a third man, this one wearing a soldier’s uniform from a long-ago war.

“You can’t trust anybody,” the soldier said. “You must always doubt their intentions. We should call for backup. It might be a booby trap.”

An old woman walked by wearing a green dress. “Has anybody seen my children?” she asked. “They’ll be wondering what happened to me in this storm.”

“Look over that hill,” the old soldier said.

“I don’t like being kept waiting.”

A small girl hurried by, chasing an imaginary cat.

“Don’t run in here!” the old woman in the green dress said viciously. “Can’t you show some respect?”

“You’re not my mother.”

“And glad of it, too.”

When the little girl caught sight of the recumbent figure, she forgot the cat and went over to get a better look.

The first man, the one who likes a good storm, came again. “I was the first one to wake up,” he said. “When I wake up, everybody wakes up.”

“Yes, it’s funny how things work here,” the old soldier said. “I don’t like this place at all.”

A new woman appeared, wearing a blond wig and a diamond necklace. “I’m always so confused when I wake up,” she said. “I was sleeping and some loud-mouth woke me up. What kind of a hotel is this, anyway? I’m going to complain to the manager.”

“I don’t like all this rain,” a woman beside her said. “I need to get home and check on my meercats.”

A nurse emerged from the shadows, wearing a crisp white uniform and a pointed cap. “I like helping people,” she said. “As you can see, I’m wearing my uniform and I am always ready to lend a helping hand.”

“Oh, why don’t you shut up!” a male voice said.

“Who is that over there?” the nurse asked, gesturing toward the recumbent figure. “He might be in need of medical assistance.”

“Why don’t you go over there and ask him?”

The nurse approached the recumbent figure cautiously. She nudged him with her toe and, getting no satisfaction, uncovered the several layers of clothing covering his face.

“It’s a man!” she proclaimed loudly.

With all eyes upon her, she pinched, probed and palpated the man through his clothing. She blew in his ears and stuck her fingers down his throat. She stood on his stomach and lay on top of him and blew into his mouth.

When she had done enough, she stood up, waving her arms in the air.

“That concludes my physical examination of the subject!” she said in her best public-announcement voice. “Now, if someone will call an ambulance, we can get this fellow taken care of!”

“She’s crazy,” someone said.

Around dawn the storm dissipated. Everyone returned to their comfortable resting places until the next time. Someone came and removed the body of the bum who came in out of the rain and died on the floor. All was well.

Copyright © 2025 by Allen Kopp